Nuevo Vallarta/Puerto Vallarta “No Groping for You!” (Day 1)

We have arrived safely in Mexico.  Traveling with three kids 3 and under is not the easiest thing.   But thank God there was an open seat so I didn’t have to have Caris in my lap for the whole three hour plane ride.

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But before I go further on, let’s describe the preparation before we got on the plane.  I (Chris) was up until 4 in the morning packing bags.  Not only did I have to pack the bags, I had to set up the security camera (I’m watching you, burglars!), and turn off the water, and clean the kitty litter, and throw out the trash, and feed the cats, and feed the fish, and pack some more bags.  We packed heavy.  Yvonne and I joke that if it was just us, it would take only an hour to pack and we’d have only one bag. 

With 3 kids, 2 of which still need diapers, the packing list just grew by a order of 5.  We checked-in 3 suitcases, a checked car seat, had 4 carry-on backpacks (2 toddler size), 2 more car seats for the airplane, a double stroller, and a bag of food.  Every time we fly, I HATE the security checkpoints.  Not only do we have an enormous number of things to carry through the checkpoint, the TSA security doesn’t even work!  All they do is yell at us and stress us out.  We carry a big container of soy milk for Caleb for his allergies.  Now you’d figure the TSA would like to check a 2 quart container of soy milk every time, but that’s really checked thoroughly 50% of the time.  Security theater.  I hate it.  And now they want to look at me naked or feel me up.

Luckily for us, the Delta terminal did not have the full body scanners installed.  I didn’t have an opportunity to get felt up.  I’m actually kind of disappointed.  That is one less thing for me to complain about.  No groping for you, TSA!

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Everyone in our family is sick.  We all got nasty colds.  Everyone is coughing up loogies and blowing out yellow snot.  And now we’re getting on the plane to hurt our ears cause we can equalize our ears.  At least I couldn’t.  But the plane ride was much better than expected.  For one we had an extra seat for Caris.  And Chloe slept much of time.

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When we landed, it was complete chaos.  We’re tired from not sleeping the night before.  We have 2 toddlers who have been cooped up in a plane for 3 hours, one of which decided he didn’t want to nap.  We too much luggage for a single car.  And then all these people are bombarding us with “help.”  Not even 30 minutes on the ground, we already signed up to have a timeshare talk.  Not only did we sign up, we actually paid someone $10 US for the privilege of someone to waste our time.  We are such idiots.

We rented a car from EZ Car Rental.  I chose them because they had the cheapest rates.  Let’s just say EZ wasn’t so easy.  First off, the EZ Car Rental office is located off the airport, which is fine since a lot of car rental places aren’t actually at the airport.  They needed not one, but 2 cars to fit all of us to shuttle to their office.  And that’s with Caleb and Caris sitting in my lab and Chloe in Yvonne’s.  We get to the office which is located at a gas station.  Yes, a fuel reloading location.  I knew coming here I was going to decline the insurance, since AMEX will cover all our insurance needs.  But the salesman says the insurance is mandatory.  I question this “mandatory” business, but he says he will not let me get a car without buying the insurance.  We’re stuck at a gas station with no where else to go.  Not many options for us.

We reserved a mid-size car.  However mid-size car in Mexico is not quite the mid-size car you expect in the states.  This mid-size car only looks slightly larger than a Jetta.  Now you remember how much luggage we were carrying?  And how it took 2 cars to pack it up?  I had my doubts all of it would fit in a Nissan Tiida, as did the salesman.  Of course for a $20 “tip” I could upgrade to a Jeep SUV.  In the span of 10 minutes, I felt I got swindled and a deal by the same person.  And even with the Jeep, everything barely fit.  Caris unfortunately had 0 leg space.  When I say 0 leg space, I don’t mean it figuratively.  She literally had 0 leg space with the stroller in the back seat.  I will have to take a picture on the way back to there.

Chaos doesn’t stop at the resort.  Poop is everywhere.  Chloe is on anti-biotics, so she is pooping liquids.  Caleb has loose stool all the time anyways.  And Caris decides she needs to go too.

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Most of you will notice Chloe getting changed.  However, look at the ground.  That’s Caris’ poop.  For the past week, she’s been practicing taking off her clothes everywhere.  And she often says, “poo-poo” after she poops.  Of course she’s saying it now.  And now knows how to take off her clothes and diaper.  That’s what she left us.

The rest of the night wasn’t so bad.  We ate at the buffet.  Took baths and went to sleep.  Pictures (which is what most of you want anyways) should suffice.

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