The Bully

You can stereotype Chinese/Asian people all day and all night long.  You can talk about their slanted eyes.  And for the most part (at least the older generation) their short stature.  You can even talk about Chinese people being passive.

That’s fine and all.  But Caleb will have none of that passive side of him.  Oh no.  Yvonne went to a play date this afternoon with Caleb.  This son of ours, as many of you know, is quite active and is strong-willed.  So he’s playing on his ride-on toy.  Another kid 2 and a half years old decides he wants to ride on it.  Well Caleb does not approve of this action.  He crawls around to the back and starts screaming at this child and hitting him.  Not only does this other child not get off, he decides to give Caleb another toy for him to play with.  Well Caleb accepts this toy, only to use it as a weapon and starts hitting him with it.  The rest of the afternoon, he’s eyeing his toy making sure no kid gets on HIS toy.

So that’s the story I was told.

Another funny story:

A couple of weeks ago I was trying to feed Caleb his snack.  I was feeding him avocados which he loves.  But avocados by themselves tend to be pretty thick and require breast milk so Caleb can swallow it better.  Well this day at that time, we were out of pumped breast milk.  So I turn to Yvonne and tell her, "I need you to squeeze some milk in the bowl."

Now stop and imagine this for a little bit…  Imagine me and Yvonne sitting on the ground, Caleb right next to us, and a plastic bowl with avocado in it that’s way too thick.  Maybe just the moms and dads will know about this, but breast milk just doesn’t come out of the boob on command.  It takes the fine skill of a baby’s mouth or a breast pumping machine to get milk out (and the machine doesn’t work that well).  But this boy needs some milk in his avocado.

Although hesitant at first, Yvonne is convinced to do it.  She pulls out her breast and attempts to squeeze some milk in the bowl.  It takes a while to get going, but not too long, a drop of milk comes out.  And then another drop.  And then yet another drop.  She starts feeling the let down coming, and they are no longer drops, but streams of milk coming out of her boob.  She was spraying everywhere.  In the bowl.  On my hand.  I guess it’s hard to aim when you’re laughing so hard.  But we did it.

Caleb ate some avocados.

Big Island Travels

We just spent the last 3 days on the Big Island with Bel, Stan, & baby Noah.  Here are some highlights and funny moments.

  • We explored a lava tube and lots of lava rocks. The volcano here is currently active, so we were trying to go visit the site where you can see lava going into the ocean.  Well, let’s just say the boys were navigating and we found ourselves at a totally different spot.  But I must say, where we went was nice too… and probably heaps safer for the babies.  We saw the area of the last most recent lava activity (about 5 years ago).  Caleb was so fussy after not getting any naps and being in a car all day.  He wouldn’t be soothed in our arms.  Finally I had to nurse him while we walked to the lava site.  It was like carrying a sack of potatoes on a hike.   And, baby Caleb decided to have another poop explosion… this time all over mommy’s shirt and pants and the Ergo baby carrier.  It was quite impressive.





  • On our trip, Caleb found himself a new toy… baby Noah who lays there like non-moving target.  Poor Noah.  Just wait ’til Noah can roll and crawl well.  He’ll be chasing after you, Caleb.



  • Caleb fell asleep on the beach.  I put him down in his tent… and he stayed asleep!!!  well, it was for only 25 minutes, but it’s a first for him to go to sleep with lights and sounds without much of a fight.




  • We wanted to visit a macadamia nut farm.  Stan found one on the internet.  We went there and found this house on a farm.  Very interesting.  Nobody else was there.  We got a nice personal tour of the mac nut trees, kona coffee beans, & avocado & banana trees.  We learned that bananas were originally eaten on the Island by only males.  Females would be killed if they ate this food associated with male fertility.  We found big spiders there.  Chris liked them a lot!  He wanted to take one home with us.



  • Chris looks mighty cute taking care of 2 munchkins.


New horizons

Today we tried a pacifier with Caleb. He sucked a little, furrowed up his eyebrows, and promptly spit it out. Pretty funny to watch. Chris tried again. Same reaction plus crying.

Tonight we tried a bottle for the first time since Caleb was first born. It’s been over 3 weeks since I’ve had obviously tender breasts. He’s been breastfeeding so well, so we thought we’d see if he’d take to a bottle (in case we ever need it in the future). Our lactation consultant said to wait several weeks after breastfeeding goes well, and to be prepared that he may not want the bottle at all. She warned me that I would probably need to leave the house, etc. Well, Caleb liked the bottle. We got this special one (1st Years Breastflow) with a double nipple designed to make Caleb drink as if he’s drinking from the breast. Bottlefeeding went so well with Chris & Caleb that I almost felt unwanted. But then he drank again from my breast happily.

Nay pacifier, Yay bottle.

Jury Duty

Hee-hee… so I got a jury summons notice in the mail yesterday. This morning I called to register. Told the woman on the phone that I’m breastfeeding my baby. She asked me if I was back to work. I told her no. She asked me if I was sure. I said yes. She asked when I’m planning to go back to work… I told her I wasn’t sure, but I’m planning to breastfeed my baby for at least a year. She sounded shocked on the phone as if she didn’t believe me… “Really?” She then tersely tells me to fill out sections A, D, and G and send the form in to be excused from jury duty… then abruptly hangs up. Chris is going on day 3 of having to go to his jury duty summons. He’s in the process of a jury selection that started late Monday afternoon.

6 weeks old

Caleb is 6 weeks old on my birthday! He’s 11 pounds now. I promise that all we’re giving the boy is breast milk.

I saw my OBGYN for my 6 week postpartum visit. I’m definitely doing better. The past few days, I’ve been pulling out my stitches on my own. They were supposed to fall out or dissolve on their own 30+ days ago, so I figured I’d help them along now. My OB says I’ve got another localized perineal infection in the area that’s still healing, but thinks it’ll resolve on its own. I have another follow up appointment in 4 weeks. Until then, more sitz baths and peri-care. I can’t wait til the day I can pee on the toilet normally again.

During my doc appointment, my OB mentioned that I can start walking now and that I don’t have to be on bedrest any more… I almost started laughing, but instead I told him, “OK, great.” In my head, I was thinking, “Hmm, I guess I’ve been in bed… on occasion.”

Since I’m allowed to walk now (hee-hee), maybe I should go get me some birthday cake I haven’t had time to eat yet. Should I wake up Chris? Nah. Caleb looks so cute cuddling up with Chris.

No turning back now

So, on occasion, as Caleb reverts back to chomping my breasts, I comment that I’m going to give up this whole breastfeeding thing. But, I looked at how much we’ve invested… there’s no turning back now. This boy is going to be a breastfed boy unless God makes it clear otherwise.

Nursing Bras – $180 (overpriced but I didn’t know this before)
Nursing Tanktops – $100 (also overpriced)
Boppy Pillow – $50 (gift from my sister)
Breastfeeding Cover-Up Apron ??? (gift from Clara)
Medela Pump-In-Style Advanced – $300
Extra Breast Pump Spare Parts – $54
Lanolin ointment for my sore nipples – $35 (plus more given by Irene)
Vitamin E for my cracked nipples – $10
Gel soothie patches for my breast pain – $40
Breast Shields to prevent clothing from touching my sore breasts – $20
Lactation Consult (Initial Visit) – $125
Special Syringe feeding kit – $45
Lactation Consult (follow up) – $95
Extra Feeding Syringes – $45
Nursing Shirts – $115
3.5 weeks of bleeding, blistered, burning, cracked, sore nipples & areola
Followed by 1.5 weeks of sore tender nipples

TOTAL COST – $1214
… way too much money & pain to even think about giving up breastfeeding

Expectations & Reality…

Caleb is almost 4 weeks old come this Wednesday! I still feel like I’m living in a blur. Man, doing all-nighters in high school and college didn’t do this to me. Youth event overnighters didn’t do this to me. Taking care of a newborn does. I thought that by now I’d be up and going, back to my normal multi-tasking busy self. But, most of my pre-birth expectations have left me ultimately humbled.

Broken Expectation #1
Breastfeeding comes naturally to newborns. Yeah, it’ll take some practice, but since it’s so good for the baby, it must not be that hard to get down.

Reality: Breastfeeding does not come naturally for me or little Caleb. He’s got an inefficient, disorganized suck. And, I’ve got wimpy, tender breasts. All I want to do is provide nourishment for my little one. How could something that seems so simple be so hard?

Broken Expectation #2
Women who have a natural normal vaginal delivery are able to get up and walk around within hours after delivery.

Reality: I kept fainting after birth from low blood pressure (from blood loss during the delivery). And it still hurts (4 weeks later) to walk around. I got a rare perineal infection, and have been told by my OBGYN that it could still be weeks before I can exercise or walk around. How do you take care of a baby when you’re told you’re supposed to lay in bed all the time?

Broken Expectation #3
New mothers have an uncanny mothering instinct that tells them what their baby needs and when he needs it. For example, they wake up seconds after their baby cries at night.

Reality: I love my sleep. From 1AM-4AM, this chickadee has no inborn mothering insticts. “Chris, you’re syringe feeding the baby? I didn’t even hear him cry.” Chris’ response: “He was crying so loud, but you didn’t move. I had to check to make sure you were alive.” Good thing my hubby is a night person…. otherwise, our baby might starve at night.

Anyways, I’d love your PRAYERS.

1. Continued healing of my body and perineum.
2. Success with breastfeeding.
3. Patience for myself as I learn to be a mom. Satan has been putting heaps of unhealthy thinking into me (of inadequacy, incompetency, and failure).
4. Restoration of my relationship with my mother. She left abruptly Thursday night when she decided she was too frustrated with me and our unpredictable schedule.



I need new breasts. Mine hurt. Babies can only get away with this cruelty cuz they look so cute.

Breastfeeding and A Dream

Context: Yvonne and I have been trying to get our baby to only breastfeed. For the past week and a half, Yvonne’s been pumping her breast and then Caleb is being bottle-fed. And every once in a while we’d try to get him on the breast again. Before he’s been unable to efficiently get milk from the breast. And Yvonne’s boob would be all tender and raw and cracked. So that’s why we had to resort to pumping and bottle-feeding. But it came to a point where now Caleb is now knowing that the bottle is easier and not even trying on the breast. So yesterday afternoon, we went breast only. And boy has it been hard. It’s been so hard on Yvonne, but I’m so proud of her. She’s really toughing it out, but our boy is finally get full feedings on the breast, and he hasn’t been bottle fed for 18 hours now. And boy is still getting enough milk. But it’s still hard. And it takes an extremely long time. Patience is wearing thin and frustrations are building. So please pray for Yvonne and Caleb. They need it.

So last night I was having all these dreams about him breastfeeding. Sometimes he’d do well in my dream. Sometimes not. But here’s the last one I had.

Dream: This is the end of the dream. I was riding in Yvonne’s car with the baby. Kurtis from work was with me for some strange reason, but we were pulling into Truth Seminary. Wayne’s car was parked there among other cars, so of course I back up into the parking sport next to his at a fast rate with the brake not working. Great parking job anyways.

So I go into the Truth Seminary room with Caleb. Apparently Eric is recording baby sucking sounds for unknown reasons. Kevin Chan is sitting there doing homework or something. And John is about to leave cause he just finished his baby sounds for Eric. Flora is now going to record some sounds. So she puts this thing in her mouth and starts sucking this thing like a pacifier. Now I’m thinking this is really strange. I put Caleb down next to Flora’s face where the recording equipment is. And then Caleb rips this huge fart. I say, “now that’s authentic.”

I am then soon awaken to the baby’s cries for food. Sorry, Yvonne. Caleb is a “Hungry Saurous” as his bib says.